So here I sit after a great workout at the gym, a Chai and a bagel then a shower. I have on one of my favorite pair of jeans and am sporting a change from t-shirts into my cozy warm and fuzzy flannel shirts. I am content and comfortable knowing I have bagged my quota of fallen leaves for the week as they wait for the leave picker upper team. I look out the window to see the sky is gray filled with an impending storm waiting to be unleashed on mankind. The weather experts tell us we have a chance for a foot of snow next week.
"Snow" to me it is truly a four letter word. I am not a fan of snow, I am more a fan of sand, especially when coupled with waves and the sea. It seems my sisters and wife like the snow. I think they are in need of counseling.
Anyhow, I am cozy and content (except for the snow thing) relaxed and happy. There is nothing that I really need or want. Well, I take that back. I would like a new pair of slippers. The ones I have on are pretty demolished. When I am not standing in them you can see the large holes in the inside where my heels ride. Sometimes when I pull my feet out, fabric stuffing makes an immediate dash for freedom. They look like they have 500 miles on them, yet they have never left the house. It is apparent that few slipper manufacturers give much thought to the durability of slippers and I find myself replacing them quite often. If any of you know of a place to get some awesome slippers, let me know.
Part of my happiness is that earlier this morning, I was lucky to have a phone conversation with a friend who lives far away. We shared family happenings and aspirations that filled the months ahead. We talked about the election just like most of the country and about matters of the heart. We have been friends for 21 years. Over those years our friendship has been close and not so close. We have lived close and far apart yet the friendship lives on. It lives on with great effort and no effort.
Friendships are an amazing thing, they can come from the most unexpected places and grow into an unexpected "thing" that you never want to lose or give up. Friendship is letting someone inside. It is sharing the superficial, the humorous and the deep of who we are. It is sharing hopes and dreams and sorrow and tears. Friendship is always being there to share that robust laugh or a painful cry.
I sit here trying to briefly explain friendship and what comes to mind is that friendship is "warm." At times I have been told I am a bit wacky and the word warm does seem a little wacky too. Do me a favor and give it a chance. Doesn't friendship make you think of warm? Friendship conjures up all kind of warm thoughts. When you are content, aren't you feeling warm? When you are at peace, don't you feel warm? When you are happy, don't you feel warm? When you have a personal connection, are you not warm? All those things are part of friendship correct? So you cannot help but to agree with me that friendship is warm, right? (I win, I win! I was right! - kidding)
So it was a warm touching conversation with that friend. When we finished our conversation, the person said, "I am sorry it took so long to call" to which I offered one of my favorite made up sayings, "The greater the love, the fewer the expectations." I went on to explain that I have no expectations on how often or even if you call. I really don't. To get a call from a friend is a joy and blessing, whenever it comes. I call, write, email or do whatever my heart leads me to do regarding my friends. I do it without expecting anything at all in return. If they need a hand moving, or cleaning, or hauling something, I give them what help I can just to be a friends. I treat my friends out of my heart and my heart leads me to do so with no expectations as best I can.
I wasn't always like that. In the past, I might have fumed over not getting a return call within 2 minutes. But I was miserable thinking like that and realized that expectations were undermining true friendships. Expectations can ruin friendships, marriages and family relationships. They can make a big mess of something real purdy!
We talk and hear of unconditional love. We most often hear of that kind of love when we read or think about our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Their love is unconditional. As we have said many times, they love us right here, right now, just as we are. We don't have to get perfect before they will love us. I have heard so many people say that they cannot go to church because they don't have their act together but that they will once they get their life right. Well, none of us will ever get our life that right. Not only that but God is not asking us to get all cleaned up and perfect, THEN to give Him a call and let Him evaluate us. He invites us into that relationship with him, dirty, banged up, beaten down, messed up, sinful, lost and angry at life. He invites us into relationship even if we wear old, torn clothes and haven't even combed our hair. He invites us into a relationship with Him, that's right, just as we are right now!
So, that being said, how can I expect more of those who are in my life? I can't. It took me forever to figure that one out but I think I got it, most of the time.
I love those in my life with somewhere from few expectations to no expectations and it is a freeing way to be in those relationships. Try it. Admittedly, I have some expectations still avoiding erasing but I have the eraser in my hand and am looking for them so they better watch out! I am trying to wipe the slate clean and not have relationship wrecking expectations. If you think of it, isn't unconditional love a love without expectations?
So maybe we should try to get rid of those nasty old expectations and be free to love unconditionally! God has set the example and if we are to emulate anyone, He might be the one we aim for.
Love somebody. Love Everybody. May God bless you richly in your friendships.