Anyhow, here is that little thing I wrote way back called, "Have a Catch"
"Love is out there all around but you have to be open to receiving it. Love is like playing catch. Picture kids playing catch with a baseball. They are tossing the ball around, laughing and enjoying each other. You wish you could enjoy all the things that having a catch brings. Sadly, you stand off to the side, wishing, hoping and dreaming that you could participate in the catch.
They toss the ball high and they squeal with excitement, they toss it hard on the ground and laugh as the ball bounces and makes unexpected changes in direction. They toss it so fast and hard that it pushes against the limits of their courage. They lob it gently, giving pause to wonder about the science of flight as the ball floats in the air for what seems like minutes of pure pleasure.
Why, oh why, can't you be a part of the catch? Why, oh why, can't you have a life filled with such excitement, friendship and fun?
You continue to watch as you attempt to figure out why having a catch seems to not be meant for you. Why does it seem that it has been determined to avoid you for your entire life? You watch from the side, following their every move. You analyze every toss with care. Sometimes you are so engaged that your arm twitches as the one on the receiving end stretches to make a near impossible catch. They don't seem to be any different than you. They don't seem to have come from a different world than you. They also have two arms, two legs, eyes, and all the equipment necessary to be part of a catch. You know deep inside that you have all the desire and skills to engage in a catch but yet, here you are, sitting on the sidelines watching with a deep yearning to be a part of the joy.
Then it strikes you. Suddenly, you see the difference. Suddenly, you realize you are doing something different. It is all now as clear as a spring morning just after a rain. It seems so simple! They are having a catch and you notice they are running around with open hands. You glance down at your sides and notice your hands are clenched tight in a fist. You understand that you cannot be part of a catch with fists but need open hands.
Day after day, you've stood on the sidelines, dreaming of the day you can have a catch too. Day after day, you have gone to the park only to find that you desire to have a catch but you have been afraid to open your hands. The desire within you torments you. That desire grows and grows until if overcomes your giant fear of dropping the ball. It even begins to overpower your fear of not deserving to play. That driving desire to have a catch encourages you to step a yard closer to the action and you notice your hands relax a little.
Day after day you step closer. Day after day, your hands open more and more. Day after day your fears fade away. It didn't happen all at once but it seems like it did. Before you know it, you are running, laughing and tossing the ball too. You are enjoying yourself so much that you don't even notice that your fear of looking foolish and your biggest fear of dropping the ball have left you. You squeal, laugh and giggle in the midst of a catch with your new friends. This is what you have been dreaming of for so long. It is everything you thought it would be.
Out of no where, your worst fear comes at you like a giant fire breathing dragon. It rears up with all its power and ugliness as you drop an easy, slow, gentle toss. You stumble and fumble and the ball hits the ground with a thunderous roar. It rolls past your feet and you freeze. You stand there, hands again clenched in fists and your head down, afraid to look up. As you expected, your hear great roars of laughter. Jokes fly toward you from every direction. However, something has changed inside you. You now realize that dropping a ball is not a reason to be afraid. You realize that dropping a ball is really a very good reason for jokes and laughter. One of your new friends runs past you and gives you a shove as he grabs the ball. You now understand it all very well.
Something you had not noticed while you used to stand on the sidelines but now see so clearly is that they all drop the ball once in a while. You now see that they all get teased as the park fills with jokes and laughter rolls across the field. You now understand that everyone participating in the catch accept each other whether they catch or drop the ball. Sometimes you play well and sometimes you don't. Now you understand the important thing is not your skill day after day. What is most important is that you are part of the catch.
Sometimes we love those close to us well and sometimes we miss the opportunity to love and be loved. Sometimes we may even be unkind and sometimes those we care about may be unkind to us. Sometimes we all play nice and sometimes we don't. What is important is that we don't stand on the sidelines afraid. What is important is that we participate.
What matters is that your hands are open to give and receive love. You cannot receive love if your hands are closed tight. You cannot receive love if you are on the sidelines afraid to try. You must understand that sometimes someone is sending love your way and sometimes you are the one doing the sending. In that exchange you will find laughter, friendship and joy. Sometimes you will love with skill and grace and sometimes you will be clumsy and drop the ball. You also understand that sometimes those close to you will do the same. The important thing is that your hands are open and that you are giving and receiving love.
If you have been standing on the sidelines, stop being afraid and have a catch. If you are in a catch, always keep a watchful eye on the sidelines and encourage the person standing there to join in. Join together, laugh, joke, dream and have fun in the company of those you share love with. Remember, in a catch, there is always room for one more."