I imagine we all have. We may have prayed for a better job, a better car, a better home, a better paycheck.
Have you ever asked for or prayed for a broken heart?
Most of my life I have enjoyed cars, trucks and motorcycles, particularly fast ones. I mostly enjoyed ones that were in need of some TLC. I enjoy the feeling of making something new again with my own touch.
I have been riding motorcycles since the sixties. About 6 or 7 years ago, I bought a 1989 Harley and fixed it up. I put as much chrome as I could buy on it, a new paint job, new seat, well - as many new things as I could. I was proud of that bike and proud of my accomplishment.
In a non glamorous moment, I fell with the bike and wrecked a $1200 paint job. Worse than that, I wrecked my left shoulder. I had to ride home with the arm that worked the clutch dangling at my side. Every time I had to change gears or stop and start at a traffic light, I had to swing my arm as hard as I could to get my hand to land on the handlebars so I could pull in the clutch lever. The pain was near unbearable. I noticed a scream deep inside fighting to get out each and every time I had to use that arm. I could not sit against a chair or couch, I could not sleep, I could barely use that arm for anything.
After a successful shot of cortisone, I did pretty well for a year. I was told it was not a very bad injury and that I could work through it. When the cortisone wore off, I was back in horrible pain. The surgeons finally agreed to operate even though the MRI showed it was a minor injury. In recovery the surgeon told my wife he was shocked at what he saw. He told her it was one of the worst shoulder injuries he had ever seen. I had three detached muscles that had to be pinned back to the bones. I was sure glad that was over. But it wasn’t really over. I was broken much more than I thought.
Other things popped up after that shoulder surgery. What followed was surgery on my left wrist, surgery on my right wrist and right elbow and finally a repair of my right shoulder. So four and a half years after the accident, I was repaired and rehabbed and somewhat back together. For four and a half years I was broken. I lived to become whole again and pain free.
During those years, I had to give up my love of riding and fixing motorcycles. Now I had mountains of time at my disposal. My life changed, my interests and hobbies changed and my priorities needed to adjust. It was a painful, frustrating and lonely journey.
Here is a point I want to present loud and clear. I was broken. My body, my emotions and my strength had taken a beating in ways I could not imagine.
Somewhere around a year and a half into all the repairing, I began to ask God for something. I wasn’t sure what that something was and was asking for His direction. I was looking for something more than a hobby I could be proud of. I wanted to do something more, something that made a difference. I wanted to do something good and honorable.
Perhaps a year before I fell on the bike, I was in a class on sermon writing. Our assignment was to write a 15 minute sermon using one and only one scripture verse. I found a verse that I immediately fell in love with. I found one that I laid claim to as my favorite. That verse is John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friend." Jesus was talking to His disciples telling them He loved them and He would demonstrate that love by dying for them. Jesus show of His great love by being sacrificed on the cross was the ultimate expression of love.
Might I suggest that we look at this thought with a small change? What if we consider the words “lay down his life for his friends” as not dying for but living for. Ponder this, what would it be like to surrender every day of your life for someone else. What if you could not do all the things you like to do because you were giving life away on behalf of another.
I am saying, I am not asking us to die, but to live. I am asking can we love enough to stop living a life focused on ourselves and live it focused on another person making their life a better place, filling their needs, giving them hope.
Jesus did both. He lived for others. He came to Earth and spent all His years being perfect for us. He did what he had to do “for us." He obeyed the Father and followed His plan “for us." As if that was not enough, He died “for us." Every bit of Jesus' life, death and resurrection was “for us." That is the example we have been given. That is where the bar has been set.
That scripture and concept broke my heart. I was again broken with the realism that from this love for others, from this idea of laying down my life for another, I would never be healed. I had to start living for someone other than myself.
I was broken and then healed in the bike crash. But this answer to my prayer was a brokenness from which there would be no healing. In fact, God continued to build upon that new direction for my life. He led me to be overwhelmed by the verse just before John 15:13, John 15:12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another, JUST as I have loved you”
How should we love one another? JUST AS JESUS LOVED US! How did He love us? He loved us by living His life just for us to the point of death. He loved and loves us fully and completely. He held nothing back. He gave it all away.
That began a journey of watching for opportunities to love others. It was difficult as people that I might have had zero interest in showing love to came into my life. Don’t we all find some people distasteful, unlikable, even maybe unlovable. Jesus' command does not make any distinction about who we are to love.
The truth is that it is not our job to determine “lovability” or “love worthiness”.. It is not our job to judge. It is our job to love and love with a pure heart. It is our job to love as Jesus loved. How we love is a reflection on Jesus and on our relationship with Him.
In a favorite book and movie of mine called “The Peaceful Warrior”, author Dan Millman makes a statement that I have adopted, and remind myself of regularly. He states, "Those that are the hardest to love are usually the ones that need it the most." If we look hard with an open heart, do we not find that to be so true. Instead of being put off by someone difficult, perhaps we should try to love harder.
That journey changed me and it changed how I looked at the world and how I saw other people. For me, it has been the greatest journey ever.
Love Somebody. Love Everybody.