Today's blog, by the grace of God, has given me an opportunity to discuss teaching that touches me directly, with a heavy heart and great sadness.
For around 20 years I have been persecuted by a person accusing me of horrible things and attacking my character over and over again. I have sat back and had no contact with this person for several years in an attempt to not have to deal with such ugliness in my life. Today this person placed a blog on this site again defaming me, accusing me of things that are fabrications and complete lies. Filled with sadness, I once again must accept that the lies of this person will not go away.
These attacks used to make me so angry, then they would break my heart, but today I am clothed in God's armor and I see them for what they are. They are attacks of the powers of darkness using this person who is weak and has bought the evil one's lies. It is a shame that this person has been deemed emotionally and mentally disabled by their state of residence. The state accepts them as being so challenged that they cannot hold a job and supports them financially. Over the years they have struggled with drugs and alcohol among other issues. It is sad to see a life so captured by such things.
This person's mental and emotional weakness opens the door for those who would try to harm me and uses this person to attack me.
Matthew 5:11 tells us " Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me." NAS
It is surely hard to feel blessed in such a situation but as I relax and let the Lord speak to my heart I guess it is a blessing. Why a person would get on this site and intentionally try to do harm is beyond my thinking. Hundreds of people visit this site and I often receive comments or phone calls about how a particular blog has helped or touched them. A person taking such action has the potential not only to harm me, but also those who enjoy this site.
The blessing is that today when I read it, I realized the "armor of God," as described in Ephesians 6 starting at verse 10 , was doing exactly what He said it would. I was able to rest in God's promise and loving arms. I was not angry or hurt by the lies and false accusations. I stand firm in the truth and the promise and I know who I am in Christ.
So when such things happen what do we do? Years ago, I wanted to get even or retaliate. That response was, in my opinion, a matter of pride. What would basically go through my mind was something like, "how dare this person speak such lies against me?" I let my opinion of myself go to anger and rage. In all honesty, none of us is without sin. Scripture tells us that if we think we are free of sin, we deceive ourselves. I had no right to be arrogant or appalled. I am a sinner, although not guilty of such lies as these. After the Lord revealed that to me, I let the attacks break my heart. I would get crushed. The Lord stayed by my side through all those times. He strengthened me and showed me His love.
One time several years ago I was attacked and I was never before in such a rage. When the contact ended, I was so angry that my heart pounded to the point I thought I was on track for a heart attack. Within minutes, God reminded me of His teaching in Matthew 5:44, "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you". NAS
I paced, lapping the living room at least 50 times praying for this person. Slowly, a calm and peace came over me. My hurt and anger was gone. I was at ease. The Lord's instruction is honorable and true. The years of being angered or hurt by this person had ended.
Today, I felt no anger, no hurt. I truly only felt sadness for a life being wasted. I felt strong and powerful. I felt all the components of His armor. I praised God in the midst of this attack. I felt blessed to have such a relationship with my Savior. I took a walk and prayed for my attacker. I prayed that they be delivered from the schemes of the evil one. I prayed that they find Christ in a new and powerful way. But honestly, I spent most of the time praising God this time. I believe that the evil one would not attempt to blast me on this site if it was not doing good. 1 Peter 2:20 tells us "If you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God". NAS
Notice the progression. If you experience such things in your life be confident that the Lord loves you and will grow you and take you to a place where you can stand strong. He is faithful and His teachings are true. I have experienced many.
Last we are promised this in Matthew 5:12 "Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you". NAS
I do rejoice. I rejoice in this struggle as I know how the Father loves me and how I grow closer to responding in a more and more pleasing way to our Lord.
I have forgiven this person and love them in the sense that I pray for them regularly and pray for them to have a happy and good life. I wish them no harm and no ill. I hope someday this will pass and they will find passion in something good.
This person's words have no power over me and carry no strength. I have been set free from any negative feelings meant for me. The Lord is gracious, merciful and loving. I experienced His love, mercy and grace in one of the richest ways ever today. Praise be to God. God loves us. He is always near. He watches over us and His promises are powerful and true.
Interestingly, the following is from In Touch Ministries devotion for today ;
The opposite of giving up is not always immediate triumph; sometimes we are called upon to persist until victory. The Lord may want us to bear up under affliction and remain steadfast in the face of temptation. Like Moses, we may be called on to endure, "as seeing Him who is unseen"(Heb. 11:27).
Endurance requires patience and time, so hold your post like a good soldier until the battle is won (2 Tim. 2:3). That means shouldering the burden of evil, affliction, or persecution courageously while trusting that the God who allowed your circumstances will see you through.
Love somebody. Love everybody, even those who are unkind. Love God for He is always good.