Elmer passed away on that beautiful Sunday morning. It was warm and sunny outside while the feelings inside were overcast by our great loss. We returned to Ohio Tuesday to spend Thanksgiving with the other side of our family and then back to Chicago for the wake on Friday.
The wake was absolutely beautiful. We saw relatives we had not seen in years. We saw the grown up kids of cousins who were nearly the same age their kids were when we last saw them. Family came from all over to honor Elmer, even as far away as Texas. Cards and emails from all over the US and Canada were sent with condolences and sweet memories of a life well lived. The funeral home buzzed with laughter brought on by memories of years gone by. It was filled with strange looks trying to figure out who the person was that was walking toward us so we could call them by name when they reached us. Two videos ran during the several hours we were there, showing the love story of Elmer and Eileen as moments of their lives flashed before us. People stood and watched the videos, some saying, "Ah yes, I remember that" and others touched by the love that was so apparent. Without exception, all were moved by sharing some moments in the life now completed.
Elmer loved his country and gave much of his life to working within the American Legion and the Knights of Columbus.
The Knights of Columbus posted an honor guard on either side of his casket. The guard was changed several times with a grand display of honor and respect. They offered a time of prayer, Scripture and reflection showing their respect for the man who served them and the community well. When finished, they all stood in a row facing the casket. They drew their swords, raised them in tribute and returned them to their resting place. They ended with a ceremonial removal and presenting of their fine, feathered hats in a last salute to Elmer.
Next, the American Legion paid tribute to the husband, father, grandfather and great grandfather, Elmer. They spoke of his work among them and their impression of him. They also offered prayers and Scriptures that touched us all. At the end of their ceremony, each man and woman representing the American Legion came to the casket and saluted the flag and then Elmer. Each one then placed an artificial poppy on his chest and saluted him again. With the slow, strong and steady raising of each arm in salute to Elmer, tears filled many eyes in attendance, including mine. It seems to me that living a life in such a way that another human salutes you, carries with it thousands of words of respect, love and honor. To have lived such a life in such a way is amazing and an example to be followed.
When we were preparing to end the evening, a lovely lady with the funeral home mentioned that earlier that evening a guest approached her and said that more pages were needed. She didn't know what she meant until further explanation expressed the need for more pages in the guest book. She went on to tell me that this was the first time they had run out of pages in the guest book and that we should understand the volume of love expressed by so many guests that day.
Saturday morning we once again met at the funeral home for a service of remembrance and prayer. I was honored to be one of six who carried Elmer's casket to the car. In honoring Elmer's love for this country, Chris pinned all six of us with American Flag lapel pins. We were each given white gloves with which to carry the casket. It was a solemn time yet it was mixed with moments of feeling proud. Proud to serve a wonderful man one last time and proud of the man we had shared so many years with.
Once at the church, we carried him to his place up front and sat for a beautiful service of remembrance. Wonderful songs were sung, touching Scriptures were read and a sweet poem written by one of his grandson's wife was shared.
At the conclusion of the service, six of us once again took our place at Elmer's side to escort him back again to the car. As we walked side by side with Elmer through the Sanctuary, I saw man after man stand tall and offer Elmer one last salute. One last tribute of honor and respect to a man who gave much. Tears swelled in my eyes at those displays of affection to a man who touched so many. While we walked toward the back of the church, God Bless America was sung, Elmer's favorite song. It was a song he sang every chance he got. That song expressed two of his greatest beliefs, first in God and second in the United States of America. It was a moment I will never forget. Elmer was a man just like you and I. He was not a dignitary, a former president, a Heisman trophy winner. He was the man next door.
I sit here at my computer this early December morning. I face out an upstairs window while the world still rests in that time of day where night is beginning it's conversion to morning. I vaguely see the giant birch tree outside that window and the tall pine trees beyond it. Above the pines I can see the skyline as the black is turning to light grey and I wonder. I wonder what it is that I care about as deeply as Elmer did. I wonder if when my days have run their course, what I had been passionate about will have been as obvious? I wonder if the life I lived will matter and if it will have touched those around me? I wonder if I will have made a difference? I wonder if I will have been loved as much as I have loved?
Life all goes back to that doesn't it? Again, so many get so caught up in stuff and the pursuit of that stuff that we risk missing what is really important. We chase the stuff that has no feeling, no emotion and will never love us as much as we seem to love it. Some of us love that unfeeling, uncaring stuff more than we love our spouses, our kids, our family or even our God. Yet, I have yet to see a brand new car mourning the loss of it's owner. Those final moments of our lives here on Earth are but a mirror reflecting back where we placed our passions, efforts, time, and love. Elmer loved God, his family, country and others to a degree that there was no doubt about his passion. Elmer even loved a good Old Fashioned drink now and again. Even that was clear as we each had one as a tribute to his well lived life after the church service that day as we felt that special place he filled in our hearts.
So to all of us, might I suggest we take a good look at our life. Might we check to see where our passion is placed and ponder if our love for those around us is obvious. Can we just stop for a moment and re-prioritize, if need be, our passions?
Love while we have time, love with abandon and purity. Love those who have been given to us by the Almighty as He intended us to love them. For we are not promised exceptional returns on our investments, we are not promised the great material things of this world. We are promised that which has been documented for centuries by the greatest minds in the world. Our time will end. There will be that time for all of us when we will breath our last breath. For me, I want my last breath to be a breath void of regret.
Love often. Love with great passion. Love with purity and abandon. Love somebody. Love everybody.