How do we know if our spoken words of love are true? How do we know if they are no more than a polite utterance with little thought? Really loving another carries with it great responsibility. Can we claim love for another if we talk about them behind their back? Can we boast love when we are inconvenienced by a friend needing help? Do we find it easy to say we love as long as it doesn't require anything of us?
Let me offer Romans 12:9-11 NLT as food for thought. "Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other".
Do we ever "pretend" to love others? Maybe we don't consciously pretend but do we say we love without considering what loving others might mean or look like? If we tell another we love them, have we ever considered what that means to them? Have we ever thought about what expectations another might have because we said we love them?
If we claim we love another, would the recipient believe we would be there in time of trouble or need? Could that person expect us to give them a call now and then or have an interest in spending time with them? Could they believe we would have their best interests in mind? Could they trust us to not say or do things that would embarrass them or offend them?
If we truly love another shouldn't it be obvious? We might express that love by;
- joyfully lending a helping hand
- wanting to spend time with them
- being there in the tough moments of life
- being who you really are
- not just saying it but showing it, let your actions support up your words
- doing what interests them, being interested in their interests
- seeing things through their eyes
- when plans change not being offended
- going out of your way to be caring
- giving of your time
- expressing your appreciation for who they are
- forgiving easily and not holding a grudge
Remember that line from the movie that captured the world, "Love means never having to say your sorry"? I think that is partly true. For me, a better way of expressing that thought might be, "love means never having to say your sorry, but never hesitating to do so."
The love we are addressing is loving others which requires a giver and recipient. In light of that line, one person who loves may not require a sorry, but the other can't help but express love by showing remorse for a wrong done.
In the scripture above we also read that we are to "love each other with genuine affection". Most of us think of affection as the physical part of love and that is partly correct. Affection is also a meaningful fondness for another, having tender and gentle feelings, it is a fond attachment or even feeling devoted. Scripture leads us to make sure those descriptions of fondness are genuine and real. If our affection is given because it is what we are "supposed" to do, then perhaps we are really only pretending. If our affection is forced then it may be false.
Another way that scripture tells us to express love is by taking delight in honoring each other. How do we honor one another? A few ways we can do that is by expressing a high regard for them, showing them respect, expressing admiration, and putting their needs and desires before ours. Remember it also says to take delight in honoring them. When someone we claim to love receives a promotion, wins a paid vacation, becomes pregnant when you can't or finds their one true love, do we rejoice with them truly delighted? Do we ever pretend to be happy for their good fortune while really being jealous or feeling we deserved the good more than they did? If we do, we just may be pretending to love them.
Loving one another is a great responsibility and blessing. It is one to not be taken lightly. When we feel loved, we open up and share who we are to deeper levels than we would with people who are casual friends. We all like receiving love, perhaps we should like giving loving as much or even more.
Love Somebody. Love Everybody. Don't just pretend.