Part of the problem might be that we all think too much of ourselves. We might all think we are just a tad better than others. We have a hard time finding flaws in ourselves but can easily find them in others. If we were right in that we as individuals were flawless for the most part then there would be no one we could feel we are better than. You probably went, "huh?" after that last sentence, I know I did. Huh? Let me try again, if we are all right about us being pretty flawless then there would be no one alive with flaws because we all think we are pretty good. I know, Huh? Okay I hope you got what I am trying to convey and I will move on.
Have you ever noticed how rude and pushy everyone else is while you are sweet and passive? Have you ever noticed how every other driver is a jerk but you are skilled? Even my wife thinks I am a bad driver and she is very skilled! Yikes, even in my own home. Have you ever noticed how everyone else’s kids are such brats while your kids are angels? We seem to have developed this “I will evaluate me against others and find I am better than most” attitude. We rank ourselves on a horizontal plane. It is as if we line up all the people we have contact with and then slide our opinion of ourselves somewhere along that plane. Kind of like some behavioral measuring stick. Haven’t we all said something like, “well, at least I am better than so and so.”
The problem, well, one of the problems with that is that we end up treating those who don’t live like we think they should not as well as we treat those who we judge as being acceptable. Doesn’t that make us biased, judgmental, self righteous, even mean? What that attitude doesn’t make us is Christlike.
We are using the wrong measuring stick. We are measuring ourselves horizontally with our friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors. We are measuring ourselves with a flawed measuring device. Everyone on the horizontal plane is flawed, yes, even you and me. If you want to measure accurately, use the vertical measuring stick. Use the one that runs from earth to heaven and Christ. He has lived in both places and was perfect in all ways. That is who we are to measure ourselves against. In fact, all mankind is measured against Him. The result is, it doesn’t matter what number we may thing we may be on the vertical scale, because anything less than Christ puts us all in the same pot together. Being ranked is irrelevant. It is an all or nothing situation.
If Christ were to measure Himself against us, we all know how that would look. The One who truly has the right and the level of perfection to measure everyone else doesn’t. He views us all as ones He loves. He loves us all the same. In Jesus' eyes, no one on this planet earns or deserves more love than another. Remember, He is the one who ate with the tax collectors and sinners. He is righteous and just and we are far from it. Based on our own level of perfection, not one of us has the right to judge another.
Romans 8:23 NLT points that out. “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” If you believe God knows what He is talking about, I guess that says it all.
Even though Jesus could elevate Himself so far above us all, He loves us and embraces us and forgives us and helps us. He is kind and gentle and caring. He cares about the little sparrow and even so much more about you and me.
So what makes us think it is okay to not treat each other well? The answer for each of us lies deep within our hearts. I can't tell you why you might not always treat others well. I only know why I don’t. Maybe this is a good time for us all to search our hearts and find out why we behave so badly and what we have to do to live more with a Christ like attitude.
We are all so messed up but He who has no flaws gave Himself on our behalf. Check out Romans 3:24; “Yet God, with undeserved kindness (meaning we don’t deserve any kindness He bestows on us) declares that we are righteous. He did this through Jesus Christ (the one who we are to measure ourselves against, the one who is flawless) when He freed us from the penalty of our sins (He who is sinless freed us from our sins). For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for our sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed His life, shedding His blood. Let’s compare ourselves to that, if we are going to compare ourselves to anyone or anything. Pretty humbling? Makes you want to stop being critical of others, doesn't it?
We are all in the boat of the flawed yet we think we have the right to criticize and judge the guy sitting next to us in the boat. How does that make any sense? Wouldn’t the boat trip be a lot more fun if we loved, helped, and cared for everyone who is on the boat with us?
A couple of years ago, God laid the “love one another” on my heart big time. I was as critical as anyone else. I spent a lot of time trying to make myself feel better about who I am by devaluating those around me. I still do, but hopefully a lot less. When I realized I was no better than anyone else in the eyes of God AND when I realized I would always be no better, things began to change some. He began working in me in ways that I saw how absolutely cool and wonderful people actually are if I gave them a chance. He opened my eyes to see that all people have struggles - just like me. All people hurt and experience loss - just like me. All people suffer and have fear and doubt - just like me. All people have dreams and hopes, successes, and failures - just like me. He helped me to understand that I wanted people to love me when I mess up - just like them. I wanted to be respected and thought well of - just like them. I wanted to make my life better - just like them. I learned we are all the same and that boat ride does get a lot better when we focus “on loving.” (nice name for a blog, ha) I believe no one is unloveable. It may take more effort to love some people than others but none are unloveable. I also believe that some are unable to be loving and that is where the work is for us. If we are unloving, then we might want to try to fix that flaw if we are going to walk a Christlike walk.
I wondered how God was able to turn this critical person into more of a loving person. (Remember, I have a long way to go but I am focused on seeing this through.) I wondered how I could love people that I knew a year ago I would be judgmental of. I know God could simply change me with a snap of His fingers but it was much more than that.
Last week, after church, a lady in church who, I have never talked to in two years, came over and talked to us. All these years, I never took the time to talk with her and I knew nothing about her. She was basically a stranger just like the people who are strangers I see every day. I listened to her share and we all talked for quite a while. As I watched and listened God began to bring me another teaching about our grounds for love.
As our site states, “we love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19) That is what He first gave me inspiring me to love more. Then, He filled me with the words in Jesus' response to those who asked Him what the greatest commandment was. His response is found in Luke 22, Mark 12, and Matthew 22:37-39 as I have here; “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind. This is the greatest and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Those two verses have driven me to live life differently. They inspired all we do with Grounds for Love. But, God took me further in His teaching about loving others while we were talking with that lady. As she talked, I listened carefully. I looked in her eyes often and I felt a warmth come over me. I felt a love for this person growing as we talked. I could really feel a sincere love building inside me. Truthfully, I was overwhelmed, excited, and I guess shocked it happened that way. God was using her to deliver a teaching to me. I continued to listen and look into her eyes and I realized what God wanted me to understand. When we got done talking, I went to a very good friend and told him what I just told you. I told him I really love her, in the way God intends us to love all around us.
What He showed me was that if we take the time to listen and look deep enough we can feel that love for anyone and everyone. That “thing” that connected me to her and drove me into a Christian love for her was, that as I listened and watched, I saw and felt God in her. This was the first time I had experienced this. I was loving a person God dwelled within. I was drawn to God in her and it was amazing. Now, I realize I had been drawn to be kind and loving to all those people I had interacted with over the past couple years by God in them. I realize that if God loves them, how can I not?
God loves everyone. God may not like the things we do but we are His own creation and He will never stop loving us. We may stray and live a horrible nasty life but He continues to love us hoping we will come back to Him to be restored by the sacrifice of His son Jesus.
I am once again changed and will now look for that spark of God in everyone He puts in my path to love. I will do my best to love better than I have before, how can I not?