LOVING THOSE WHO ARE DIFFICULT TO LOVE.Matthew 5:43-47 NLT. “You have heard the law that says, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For He gives sunlight to both the evil and good, and He sends rain on the just and unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even the pagans do that.”
Our journey to change the world through love starts with us. We are told to love our enemies. God exhibits that by His own act of giving sunshine and rain to both the just and unjust, the good and the evil ones. He asks no more of us than He does Himself.
We are told to pray for those who persecute you. Not an easy request but one I can speak on. I have been persecuted by an individual for well over 20 years. This person has done everything they could to hurt me and ruin me. Shamefully, I must admit that I was dangerously close to actually hating this person. I have never felt such dislike for anyone in my life. I have prayed hundreds of times for the attacks to stop and for that person to leave me alone. It seemed the prayers went unanswered as the attacks still came.
One evening, I got a call from this person and hesitated to answer, but trying to take the road less traveled, I picked up the phone. I was attacked in a way that hurt me to my toes. I was accused of horrible things and was even told they had contacted the police department to report me. All the accusations were false and on such a level that the conversation became a screaming match. I fell into a rage based on the disbelief that anyone could say such things about me. The shouting was out of control and in utter desperation, I hung up. I threw the phone onto the couch and literally could hardly breath. My heart was pounding harder and faster than it ever had. Horrible things were going through my mind. My spirit was crushed.
Being the angriest I have ever been, I paced around the living room in circles trying to calm down. I made lap after lap feeling like if I didn’t pace, my heart would explode. Out of nowhere, a still, small voice deep inside reminded me of the part of the above scripture to pray for your enemies and those who persecute you. I gritted my teeth, took a deep breath and began to pray. I prayed as if my life depended on it. Actually, perhaps my soul depended on it.
In all honesty and truth, I told God I forgave this person. I prayed for this person’s life to change. I prayed for these horrible delusions to leave and never trouble that person again. I prayed and prayed. My heart rate went down, the pressure in my chest left, my anger subsided and within twenty minutes of the most desperate praying I have ever done, I was absolutely calm and at peace. I had no ill feelings fro this person and actually felt sad for them.
God showed me in a real and personal way that there was a deep truth in this teaching. Praying blessed me and delivered me from a bad situation. I don’t know what it did for the other person but it liberated me.
When we are angry or filled with hate, we are the prisoner of those feelings. The person we direct those feelings at most times has no clue we are feeling that way. Most likely they are going on with life, yippee skippy. When we carry such feelings we are holding ourselves hostage in that anger and destroying every day we continue feeling that way. We can set ourselves free by praying and forgiving.
The above scripture reminds us that it is easy to love those who love us. Basically everyone does that. To love those who don’t love us or even stand against us sets us apart.
We are told to be kind to everyone. I watch this every day. I see people being plain mean to each other in stores or in traffic (this one makes me crazy). What is the big deal to let someone in line or out in traffic. Practice kindness and you will feel better and set an example for those watching you to follow. Be assured, people are watching. I can say for sure that at least one person is (me).
I have a little mantra, “wherever I go, I leave a smile behind”. I simply talk to people, hold doors and so on. I have fun when I hold doors for people going into a store or restaurant and greet them with “welcome to so and so’s, have a nice meal” or make comments about a shirt they might be wearing. For example, I was going into a store and a guy was coming out wearing a blue T-shirt with a big “S” on it. I walked over to him and said “Superman, it is so awesome to meet you. I have always wanted to meet you in person!”. Every time I make an effort to be friendly and make someone smile, we laugh and joke. It is awesome.
I see so many people determined to make others feel miserable that I can’t stand it. Why not be determined to make someone feel good? Cashiers take some hard hits and I never miss an opportunity to tell them how much I appreciate what they are doing or tell a clerk how they made my life easier by showing me what I was looking for. This is not hard stuff. What I have noticed is that I see fun and happy people everywhere now and the world somehow seems better.
If you think about it, when someone makes us angry, most often it has to do with “our” pride. Someone says something not so nice to you, someone cuts you off in traffic or whatever, don’t we react in anger because we are insulted? How dare they do that to ME?, how dare they treat ME like that? How dare it take so long to get MY meal?
Don't we just need to relax and lighten up?
We may never know what is going on in their lives and basically don’t care or are so self focused to even think that they are having a tough day.
I will close with a little story I once heard that speaks to that. There was a man commuting on a train from work to home. He was exhausted from a tough day at the office and just wanted to nap and relax. There was a man across the aisle from him whose kids were running about and being loud. All the while the man sat and watched the kids disturb everyone. Finally the businessman had enough and lectured the man with “your kids are acting like jerks and you just sit there and so nothing! I am trying to relax after a hard day and am disgusted by your lack of parenting.” The parent replied. “I do apologize and am sorry. I am in a bit of a daze and am not paying attention. We just left the cemetery after burying their mother and I am upset”.
We never know what is going on in another person’s life.
Our Father rains and lets the sun shine on all people, should we not follow His example?
Open your hearts and just love somebody. Everybody.