Many of us have been hurt by another, myself included. Life is full of hurts and pains. Life is full of twists and turns that take us in directions we don't want to go. These times are miserable, these times make us question life. These times may give us cause to consider giving up.
Sometimes there have been moments of hurt that we can't seem to let go of and sometimes they may be ongoing as in my case with this person persecuting me. We are not promised a perfect, wonderful life as if we have written our own script. Life gives us great times and horrible times. I believe it is what we "choose" to do with it that makes a great difference.
I have talked about persecution from my perspective, the perspective of the person being attacked. What I felt led to put on paper stems from thinking about the one who carries the hatred and anger, the one who is trying to harm another person or trying to "get even." I can speak to this because I know those feelings of anger and rage I felt from such attacks many years ago and even in the not so distant past.
If any of us are filled with anger, it dominates nearly every day and every thought. We may feel justified and even righteous in our actions. We just know we have been wronged. We just know the person who wronged us deserves to be crushed with our angry words and actions. We believe that we will feel better and all the anger will go away if we could just get even.
How many of us have fought back or retaliated and felt better? I know that when I had argued back and defended myself in conversation with my attacker, I never felt better. I never got over the insults and no matter what the issue, it was never over. I thought of hundreds of words I could fight back with which did not make me feel better. In fact, thinking about how to retaliate just kept the fire hot. Regardless of what we do or say, we never can get rid of it. Doesn't it just creep into every day and make you miserable? We waste all this time on the person who wronged us. We waste all that time punishing ourselves by going over and over it again to no end. There is a good chance that as we dwell and fume, the person who is the focus of our anger, is living a happy, worry free life.
I know that the words of my attacker don't matter any more. I don't care what they have to say. The words are hollow and carry no weight. They are basically a waste of the person's time. While they fume and carry on, my life moves forward, enjoying all the goodness life has to offer, by the grace and goodness of God.
If any of us are tormented by our own anger and rage, what do we do with it? How do we look at it?
Let's look at Ephesians 4 (NAS) verse 26. And, don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil".
The Lord gives us instruction on how to deal with anger, basically don't let anger control us. Let it go. As I mentioned earlier, the focus of our anger most likely doesn't even know how angry you are, or may not even care. With that thought in mind, why let what happened destroy us while they move on unaffected? When we continue in anger, it leads us to sin. It gives the devil a foothold. Perhaps in such a state he helps us think all sorts of evil things, he encourages our rage and ruins our day. He gladly whispers things in our ear that keep us ranting and raving, maybe even messing up others lives who are close to us. Can our kids or spouses get our best while we carry on day after day in anger? I would say probably not. Living in anger opens the door to the evil one who will not hesitate to fan those flames and mess with us.
Verse 31 reads, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tender hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. And into Chapter 5 verses 1 and 2, Imitate God therefore, in everything you do, because you are His dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.
Get rid of all that hate, anger and rage, be kind and forgiving just as God has been to you. This verse always takes me to the example of Christ. He was arrested and persecuted for His teaching by people who were offended by what He had to say. They accused Him of many things.
Let's read Matthew 26:57-67. Now let me point out that many accused Him, many told lies, many misrepresented Him. Look again at verse 62, the high priest asked Jesus, "Well aren't you going to answer these charges?", "What do you say for yourself?" So, what did Jesus say? Nothing, not a word. He stood silent. Look at verse 63, "But Jesus kept silent. And the high priest said to Him, " I demand, by the Living God, that you tell us whether You are the Christ, the Son of God. (64) Jesus said to Him, "You have said it yourself.....". Jesus did not respond to or acknowledge any of the lies or accusations, He only responded to the question regarding who He truly is.
Then Jesus was sent to Pilate in chapter 27 verses 11-26 and then experienced the soldiers mockery of Him and His crucifixion, death and burial through verse 65. In chapter 27 verse 11, we see Pilate ask Jesus if He was the king of the Jews and Jesus replied, "You have said it." Then in verse 13, Pilate asked, "Don't you hear all these charges they are bringing against you?" What was Jesus response in verse 14? None. The Scriptures tell us "But Jesus made no response to any of the charges, much to the governor's surprise." I imagine if most of us had been Jesus, we would have retaliated and blasted those who hurt us. We would have defended ourselves and maybe tried to get even. So what's wrong with that? We want and demand justice! We have been wronged and want those responsible to be punished! Our anger grows into rage and hatred. Yet our Lord stood silent and uttered not a word. WOW!
After Jesus betrayal, mocking, beating, trial, torture and being nailed to the cross. After being mocked by a criminal hanging on the cross next to Him, what did He have to say?
Look at Luke 23:32-34. Jesus response in verse 34 was "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing." That is the approach I am trying to live in response to my attacker. I do not need or want to waste any more of my life being angry. The price is too high. The cost is allowing days go by not enjoying peace and joy and the happiness of the life the Lord has given me.
After the second attack, I could not understand why the person bothered. Then God helped me understand how awful it would be to be consumed with so much hatred and rage. That is not the kind of life He wants for us. In Scripture, He continually tells us to let go of things like anger and live in peace. Why? For us. He wants us to live wonderful, joy filled lives. Why give away that type of life to the actions of another by being angry? Would you not agree, the cost is too high?
Even if they were wrong and (in our opinion) our anger is warranted, why not follow Jesus' example by letting our only words be, "Father forgive them."
We need to stop trying to get even, stop tormenting ourselves. Look to Romans 12:19 NAS. "Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay," says the Lord." Can we rest in the understanding that the Lord will handle it. If we persecute and determine another's innocence or guilt and give sentence, we are playing judge. We are clearly told not to judge or we will be judged in like. If God has forgiven, who are we to not forgive?
I know there are some horrific things that have happened to some of us and I am not saying that it is easy or even possible to change our thinkng. I am offering examples of what I understand to be God's teachings. I know I have applied these principles to my feelings about my attacker and this has been going on for over two decades.
I blogged about all this because I see the pain in us when we wrestle with anger. I see the hurt we cause ourselves and our family. I see the wasted days that get spent in rage. I know it breaks God's heart to see us caught up in such things. I know it breaks God's heart to see my attacker spend hour after hour, day after day, year after year trying to hurt me. That person has been hateful and abusive. My family and I have been abused by this person's words and actions for many years. I know there are mental and emotional issues involved and I have asked God to forgive this person, for they do not truly know what they are doing.
I get that sometimes we just want to be mad as anything, maybe we even need to be. So be angry for the day, but as we read in Scripture, don't let the sun go down on your anger. Don't give anger any more of your life than that. Hey, I know how it feels to be angry and want to be angry. I know what it feels like to have someone lie about you and hurt you. My situation may be worse than some but it also may be less than some. What I am saying is that we deal with anger on varying levels but that at any level it just isn't worth it. So get angry if you must then forgive, apologize, or whatever to make your best effort to get rid of it. I know I hate being angry, it just wrecks my day or days.
I simply ask any of you who are caught up in anger to set yourself free to live the life God wants for you. I know it may be harder for you than anyone could imagine but just hear it in the spirit it is given. God does not want us to suffer in anger. He wants us to be free to feel and notice the blessings He sends our way every day. Trade up from a life of anger to a life filled with God and the goodness He offers.
LOVE SOMEBODY. LOVE YOURSELF. LOVE YOUR FAMILY. LOVE YOUR LIFE.