Many years ago I married and began the process of meeting and getting to know my wife's family. Over time I got to meet them all. During holidays, I actually got to know most of them at least a little.
My wife's younger brother had left home to eventually establish a home for his family in Kentucky. While a good portion of her family lived close by or further north, we didn't get to see this part of the family very often. However, there was a time when our little family moved from California to a neighborhood in Kentucky not very far from where they lived.
Having grown up in a blue collar average home I had never been exposed to people who chose to not follow main stream thinking like their oldest daughter, Jessi. Although I made similar choices during the sixties when I was young it was still a bit awkward for me to know what to expect from this young lady.
My life among non conformists when I was younger was with those who had long hair, bright tie-died shirts, and peace signs everywhere. We listened to music unique to our people group and did not want to be part of everyday mom and dad society. The people group this young lady belonged to was quite the opposite. They wore dark clothes, had dark hair and makeup, lots of tattoos, and were very quiet and appeared shy.
As I got to know Jessi better, I found she was gentle, loving, thoughtful, concerned about those around her, and extremely creative. I became a fan. I thought and still think she is an amazing person. Because of the impression she left me with, when I see people dressed like her, I smile as I imagine a group of people that must exhibit her characteristics.
I was forever changed by this young lady being true to who she was and not putting on an act. If only more of us average and "normal" people could be half as gentle, caring, and loving we might have something.
Much time has passed and Jessi grew up and had a family of her own. Her husband and kids seem to exhibit the same ideals. While the clothes may have changed some, there is an obvious common thread running through each one of them. The children are a variety of ages but are hardly little kids. They all leave me with the very same impression I had of their mom so many years ago. It is easy to imagine how one could instantly fall in love with all of them as I did with Jessi when she was so young. The whole family is made of bright and shining stars quietly making a gentle impact on a tough and often nasty world.
This past Sunday we made the, not often enough, trip to Kentucky. This time was a sad trip, very sad. The family lost Jessi's oldest daughter, Raven, who was in her early twenties.
We gathered at the funeral home and listened and talked with friends and family. We looked at pictures and a video. She was a beautiful and amazing young lady who carried the same creative genes as her mom. As people shared during the service, we learned how gifted she was and how she had touched so many, many lives. That day, I believe, she was still touching the lives of those around us.
It was clear she was greatly loved. It was also very clear she would be greatly missed. Her leaving this world would leave a void, a very special and unique void.
We were brought together for a sad occasion but in the midst of it, I again was taught something by that little family. I watched and saw the outpouring of the love between them and the quiet compassion and concern for one another. I watched as my wife's brother and wife shed tears for the all too soon passing of this one so young. I saw the power of the love they have for each other and the love for Raven that would never fade. While it was sad, it was also beautiful and encouraging. It was a shining reminder of the importance of loving your family and those around you. It was a reminder of the importance and power of love. It was a reminder of things so often overlooked, considered, or traded for things of much less importance.
First, dear friends, please pray for Jessi and the family if you would take a moment.
Second, don't be too quick to make assumptions based on appearances. If you do you may miss the opportunity to meet an absolutely amazing person.
Last, please take a moment to consider your family and understand the blessing and the richness they bring to your life. Yes, they may be here today but we can never know when they might leave us. When they do, they take with them any opportunity for us to tell them how much they are treasured and loved.
I will do all the above for that is what I have gained in the midst of this loss. I guess I might refer to it as the "Raven Effect."
Jessi, Frank, all the children, Rob, Marsha, Robb, Maria, and Kayla we love you and hurt with you. You have all had a role in molding a little girl who grew into a beautiful, spirited, gifted, and wonderful young lady. It was a task of love that was very well done for she is amazing. Raven will be forever in our hearts and minds until we meet again.