I have never been one of those people who makes decisions to do things differently in the coming year. I have never made resolutions or even felt inclined to. Actually, I look to improve, grow, and learn more about myself all the time. I find meaning and teachings in books, movies, conversations, and relationships. The tools to become a better human are around us all each and every day. I guess I feel if there is something on my mind which needs changing, why wait until the start of a new year to change it?
With that in mind, I experienced one of those life lessons from my 1989 Harley Softail.
When I was younger, I loved the idea of riding motorcycles and yearned to have a bike. My first bike was a 500 cc, 1964 BSA Competition Cyclone. A friend of my dad's was selling it and we drove an hour away for me to do a test ride. I had never been on a bike and I imagine I would have fallen in love with any bike at that time. I saw it, and as expected, I fell in love with it. Having never operated a motorcycle and not wanting to look like I never had, I took it slow until I got out of sight. Once I had accomplished that, I downshifted and twisted the throttle to full open. I nearly was yanked off the bike and I was in heaven. That day began a lifetime love affair with motorcycles.
Next, I bought a 1970 and a half, Honda, 750 cc, in line 4 cylinder bike. That was followed by adding a Kawasaki dirt bike. After living free on those bikes, I bought a Honda, V45 Magna, which fueled my need for speed even more. Did you notice what seems to be a glaring issue in my motorcycle purchases? What is missing is the word, "Harley." From day one, I wanted a Harley. To me it was the bike of all bikes. My meager income stood strong between me and the bike of my dreams.
Then one day, in 2003, a call came from a friend in Kentucky. He had a 1989 Harley Heritage for sale. I called my friend Vince and made plans to go see it. We packed up my pickup truck with expectations that the bed would be full of precious cargo on the drive home. After drooling for 4 hours, we arrived at his house. Of course, she was beautiful and I was instantly in love. My heart pounded waiting for her to speak. My friend turned the key, pressed the start button and the earth stood still as she roared with all the sound and power of a 1340 cc Harley motor. I am sure I giggled like a little kid who just ate a bowl of raw cookie dough while my parents were still asleep on a Saturday morning.
I surely must have been psychic or clairvoyant, because the softail was in the bed of my pickup for the drive home. That was the start of a beautiful relationship.
She was in need of some love. Her paint was cracked and faded. The saddlebags and seat were not in the best of shape but she sounded awesome and was extremely dependable. No matter what little things were flawed, I loved her. I began the process of taking off the things that needed replacing and putting on new shiny parts. In fact, I replaced the fenders and tanks after having an artist give the new ones a beautiful paint job. I waxed and polished and continued to spend a lot of time with her. We went on great adventures together and enjoyed being in the wind more than almost anything else.
One day, I started her and rolled her into the driveway. I left her idling to warm up while I ran into the house to get my jacket and sun glasses. When I came out, she was no longer running. That was a first! I jumped on and cranked her over again - nothing! Frantically, I went through the list of things that could be wrong. Thankfully, it was a short list. I consulted with a local Harley dealer to back up my thoughts. I bought a new coil, of course one that offered better performance, and raced home. What was broken got repaired and she fired right up. We hit the road immediately and had one great ride.
When she was broken, I felt awful. I did not want to see her in the shop for a major overhaul because we shared adventures almost every day. If I couldn't sleep at 3 in the morning, you could find me in the garage, polishing , tinkering or maybe just sitting there staring at her imagining what I could do to make her more special. She had come a long way from the faded red bike to what she was now. In some ways we grew together. She became more powerful and beautiful and I became a better mechanic and more skilled rider. It was a great relationship, one in which we both grew and one I will always treasure.
Several years later, with thousands of miles on the road, it happened. I fell with her. I wrecked her awesome paint job and ended up wrecking me a bit too. It took 4 years to get through surgeries on both shoulders, both wrists and one elbow, including rehab. The need for my repairs was not urgent but was scheduled according to pain levels and diminished ability to do things. To me, her needs were more immediate. I bought another set of fenders and tanks and sent them up to be custom painted. While the painter was hard at work, the impact of a bad year with my business and our daughter going south to go to college, created a tough situation. It took me and the softail to a place where we would have to part ways. Riding her to her new home was a short ride in miles but the longest ride we had ever had.
Although we would be miles apart and never have any more great adventures, I would always treasure the time we did share. She would forever be part of me, my experiences, my fun and my freedom. Sadly our relationship had changed but the times we shared would never be any less than wonderful.
As we ponder 2014, maybe we need not make resolutions to work out more or stop eating junk food. Maybe the start of 2014 would be a good time to take a look at our relationships. Being committed to loving others is a big commitment. Loving means working together to develop a lasting relatonship. It means polishing that relationship at 3 in the morning if we have to. Having a relationship makes any work we need to do fun. It means having great adventures together and always making time for each other. Having a relationship means appreciating one another and growing together. Sometimes, something goes wrong with it, sometimes it breaks and needs work. What we don't need to do is to roll it back into the garage, toss a blanket over it and be angry with it. Sometimes, what it needs is a sense of urgency driving us to fix it and get it back on track. Sometimes, parts of it get tired and worn and we need to replace them with shiny new things that bring new excitement. Sometimes, we aren't sure what is wrong with it and rather than give up on it and walk away, we need to find a consultant. Sure, it takes effort. Sure, it may cost us something. Maybe we have to realize that if we don't fix it, we could be missing out on hours and miles on the back roads of what could be great adventures.
It was sure awesome to be so passionate about that old softail. I still treasure those times and even have a picture album to share those stories with anyone who will listen.
Maybe 2014 is the time to become passionate about our relationships and those around us. Maybe 2014 is the time to be more loving toward those around us. Maybe now is the time to set aside more time for those we love. Maybe now is the time to stop being angry, to take the blanket off the broken relationship, roll it out into the light and do what it takes to fix it. Let 2014 be one of those years that you will want to make up a picture book of so you can share stories of all this year's wonderful times.
Loving others brings great joy, great times, and awesome memories. Loving others sometimes takes sacrifice and costs us. Sometimes we both need some repairs and a new paint job. From my experience, patiently going though those times together is so very worth it.
Maybe for 2014, we should treasure and nurture what we have and fix what needs fixing. After all, who among us could not use one more great adventure!
Love and great blessings to you all for 2014. You are all part of a great adventure I am having and I love you and appreciate you. God bless you.