Brides always look so absolutely beautiful and this past weekend, Stephanie did as well. She glided down the aisle with her mom on one arm and her dad on the other. In that moment you could just imagine the lifetime the three of them shared those past years. You see the start of a ceremony that would melt their family into another family and it would grow again. This time the growth of their family would not be by a birth but by a wedding. It would not grow by one but by many. By marriage, there would be untold numbers of new uncles, aunts, grandparents, cousins, sisters, and brothers. And many of those new relatives gathered under one roof to encourage, celebrate, witness, and bless Stephanie and Michael's wedding.
Mike stood there watching his bride walk the aisle with the look of joy and confidence on his face. He stood proud and tall knowing he could lead his new family into the future. After all, he had a lifetime, his 20 some years, of experiences, education, and life lessons to guide him. All his long life led him to this moment. From the point of view of an old guy like myself, he looked so young. It seemed it wasn't that long ago that I enjoyed chasing this nephew around his yard or wrestling with him on the floor. For me, it was only a couple years ago, for him, a lifetime.
I sat there, proud of both of them. Proud of the commitment they were making to one another in a world where such commitments are often neglected. Proud of the education they had worked so hard to complete. Although, brought on by life itself, more education would come their way. I was proud that they had found each other quite some time ago and had realized they were meant to be a Mr. and Mrs. one day. They waited patiently and planned well and that day had come.
Stephanie's and Mike's parents looked so filled with joy and happiness which gave them a special glow. Their eyes sparkled with excitement but also swelled with tears. I felt a sense of peace and approval from them for what these "kids" had grown to become and for who they had chosen to share their future with.
During the ceremony, as is typical at weddings, tears were shed. Perhaps tears brought on by memories of the guests' own wedding and the recalled moments of young love. Perhaps tears of pure joy for the beautiful couple starting a new life together. Perhaps tears of simply being in the presence of a room filled with the love of so many people.
I thought of Derek and Teresa's wedding, a week ago, that young beautiful couple who had found their soul mate and had begun their journey. They too had planned well and found that one special person. Their two amazing families had also become one. For my wife and me, being uncle and aunt, we had become part of a new larger and wonderful family as well. Our hearts have been touched and our lives changed by becoming being part of these new, amazing families. This weekend, I was again reminded, as I was at Derek and Teresa's wedding, that hundreds of people had put their lives on hold for a day. Some traveled great distances to be there to witness another epic expression of love and devotion. We had all gathered and again been blessed to be in the presence of God's gift of great love given to two people.
Mike and Stephanie's reception was nothing less than an amazing celebration. College friends, family members, and acquaintances fueled the flames with best wishes, screams of joy, and dancing.
The evening started out with John, Mike's dad, making some comments. Before the reception he told me he was just not a speaker and that he was not good at this sort of thing and that he was a bit nervous. Over the years I know he had been wrong about a few things here and there (in my humble opinion) but he could not have been more wrong about his ability to speak that night. You could see the tenderness in John's eyes. You could discern the emotion hiding in the background of his voice and you could hear the love in his words. He stood there, a dad, sharing his love and pride for his son and his love and pride for his new daughter. He said many things but what I remember most clearly is that he loved them both so much. Words tell us things but how they are said leave impressions on us. Long after his words are forgotten, the impression of his love for Mike and Stephanie will always remain.
I have known John for most of my life and that has been some time. I have known his business and life successes, we have had little vacation type adventures together, played pranks, played football together, driven a moving truck from California to Kentucky, harassed our nieces, nephews, wives and, in-laws to the best of our ability. We have competed at a lake where Uncle Bob held the "Splash Olympics" for several years and have wept at funerals together. But as he spoke Saturday night, I have come to know him in a new way. He shared his love for both these kids in the most beautiful way. I was rightly impressed.
Apparently, our best seems to shine in moments such as funerals and weddings. We shine at times when our hearts are being tugged at the very most. We shine when we let go of the "stuff" of the world and release the "real" us. We touch all those around us the deepest when our hearts lead us to do and say things we never thought we could. Somehow beyond our comprehension, with great elegance and poise, we can offer beautiful phrases that express our deepest and most honest feelings. John did not disappoint us.
It is curious that I write this the day after Father's Day this year. I think I have even more respect for those in my life that have recently shared their father's heart with us. At Derek and Teresa's wedding a couple weeks ago two dads, Gerry and Mark, shared their hearts and love. This week John shared his. Two weeks in a row my heart as a father has been filled to overflowing by those men.
Sometimes heroes come disguised and people who work in offices wear their capes under there suits. Sometimes heroes have mansions with secret cellars where they store their outfits and amazing cars. But sometimes they are just ordinary people disguised as dads.
I am proud to be in a family of such men. I am blessed to have seen them take off their disguises and bear their hero hearts these past couple weeks. Two weeks in a row, I have been reminded of what a dad is and am grateful.
Maybe, just maybe, we who are dads could more often find a way to let the world around us know, that beneath these mild mannered exteriors, a hero lies within ready to stand for the great things of life such as love and family. Maybe, just maybe, we can encourage other men to stand up and announce they too have a heart filled with love for all mankind to see. And maybe, just maybe, we dads can help to build a world filled with more love than ever before. After these past couple weeks and after such men as Gerry, Mark, and John, I believe it can be done.